This stage of life

This stage of life. It’s hard, you guys.

stage of life porch sitting father son

I’m talking right now to you moms who are in your late 20’s to mid 30’s. You have kids. Likely two, three, maybe four of them. They probably range in age from newborns to 7 or 8 year-olds. (Give or take a few, on all of the above mentioned stats).

In this stage of life, you are dealing with exhaustion. Mental, physical, and emotional.

In this stage of life, you are dealing with teething. With ear infections. With stomach viruses. You are juggling nap schedules, and feeding schedules and soccer, dance, or cheer schedules. A million balls you are juggling, and you probably feel like you are dropping most of them.

In this stage of life, you are dealing with guilt. Guilt over having a career, and not spending enough time with your kids, or guilt over staying home with your kids, and not doing enough to contribute financially. Guilt over being too harsh with your kids. Too lenient. Guilt that your house is clean, but your kids were ignored, or guilt that you enjoyed your children all day, and now your husband is coming home to filth. Guilt.

In this stage of life, you are bombarded daily with a whole host of decisions. Some of them life-changing, some of them not. None of them with clear cut answers. Do I vaccinate my kids? Do I not? Do I send them to public school? Homeschool? Charter school? Do I continue to breastfeed? Do I blow the budget so that I can buy all organic? Do I force my child to apologize, even though the apology will be insincere? You don’t know the answers to ANYTHING, but you feel constant pressure to figure out EVERYTHING.

This stage of life is less and less about watching your friends get married and have babies, and more and more about standing by and witnessing your friends struggle in their marriage, and even get divorced. It’s a stage where you’ve got to put in the time and the effort and the work and the energy to make sure your OWN marriage stays healthy. And that’s good, but it’s hard, too. At this point, you or someone you know has experienced infertility. Miscarriages. Loss of a child.

It’s a stage where you are buying houses, selling houses, remodeling houses, packing up houses. And then you do it all again a few years later.

It’s a stage where your hormones are all out of whack. I mean, you’ve basically been pregnant, postpartum, or breastfeeding for the last ten years, right?

It’s a stage where you are struggling with identity. Is my entire identity “mommy”? Is there anything even left of me that isn’t about mothering? Is there something more glamorous I could have/should have done with my life? I LOOK like a mom now, don’t I? I totally do.

stage of life siblings children parenting

It’s a stage where you are on a constant quest for balance, and can never find it.

It’s a stage of life where you are overloaded. Constantly. You are overloaded with questions. Your children never stop asking them. You are overloaded with touch. Someone is constantly wanting to be held, holding on to you, hanging on to you, touching you. You are overloaded with to-do’s. There is so much to do. It never ends. You are overloaded with worry. You are overloaded with THINGS. Your kids have way too many toys. You are overloaded with activities. You are overloaded with THOUGHTS (thoughts about how to not be so overloaded, perhaps?).

It’s hard.

So….what do you need to do to survive it all?

You need to ask for help.

You need to accept help when it’s given.

You need to not neglect your marriage. You need to put your kids down for bed early. Sit outside on the back porch with your husband, drink a glass of wine, and have a conversation.

You need girlfriends.

You need your mom.

You need older friends, who have been there and done that. Who can reassure you that you AREN’T screwing it all up as badly as you think you are.

You need to not feel bad about using your kids nap time every now and again to just do whatever the heck you want.

You need to lower your expectations….then probably lower them again.

You need to simplify. Simplify every single part of your life, as much as it can be simplified.

You need to learn how to say “no”.

You need to practice contentment.

You need to be ok leaving your kids overnight, and going away somewhere. Anywhere.

You need to do something you enjoy, every day, even if it’s for no more than 15 minutes.

You need to pray. Girl, you need to pray.

You need a coffee you love, a wine you love, and a bubble bath that you love.

stage of life pinky boy

Finally, and maybe most importantly, you need to remember that…..

….this stage of life is beautiful, too. Like, really really beautiful. This is the stage of life where every single older person you ever meet tells you, “you’re going to miss this”. And you already know it’s true. It’s the stage where your kids love you more than they are EVER going to love you again, for the whole rest of your life. It’s the stage where they can fit their entire selves into your lap to snuggle…and they want to. It’s the stage where their biggest problems ARE ear infections and teething and stomach viruses, and you’re not having to deal yet with things like broken hearts or addiction or bullying. It’s the stage where you are learning to love your spouse in an entirely different….harder…..better…. way. The stage where you are learning together, being stretched together, shedding your selfishness together, and TRULY being made into “one”. It’s the stage where you get to see Christmas, Halloween through your kids eyes, and it’s so much more fun and magical than it would be just through your own eyes. It’s the stage of life filled with field trips, class parties, costumes, swim lessons, bubble baths, dance parties, loose teeth, and first steps. And those things are so fun. It’s the stage where you are young enough to have fun, and old enough to have obtained at least SOME wisdom. It’s SUCH a great stage.

But, man it’s hard.

-Hayley Hengst

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Yoni Eggs, Emily Martel Season 1 Episode 12

Yoni Eggs

 

Emily Martel and I  discuss what a yoni egg is, benefits of using a yoni egg, setting intentions for your yoni egg and why meditation for women means we move. 

This episode is for anyone who is yoni egg curious, wants to deepen their connection to their divine feminine and loves a conversation between two girl friends.

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Today’s episode is brought to you by:

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Topics discussed on the show:

 

Emily Martel, Ordinary Priestess, Moonstone Mavens, yoni eggs, Soul Speak podcast, Gabrielle Orcutt

“…And here’s the thing, when we don’t see representation of different kinds of bodies in the world, in the media, on tv, we start to think we are wrong. Something must be wrong with us for our bodies to be doing the terrible thing of “weighing more than we want to”. I don’t mean just to see different bodies. I mean, to see the beauty and worth and sensuality in different bodies. In some ways, our culture benefits from this. If women are obsessed with their bodies, there is not enough time or energy left over to rock the boat, to speak up, to take action in this world…” – Emily Martel, The Ordinary Priestess

Connect with Emily:

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Emotional Intelligence, Supna Shah Season 1 Episode 11

Emotional Intelligence

Supna Shah is our first return guest and Supna shares how she uses Emotional Intelligence in raising her triplets.  This method has allowed her to skip the temper tantrums that are typical of the toddler years and enstill confidence, gratitude, understanding of ones emotions and fostered a deep emotional connection to her babies. 

This episode is for anyone who sees children in their future or is currently frustrated with their child’s behavior and hungry for change. However, I truly believe that anyone can find gold nuggets in our conversation.

Get your notebooks ready, as Supna shares the 5 pillars of Emotional Intelligence and a tool to implement each one.

 

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Today’s episode is brought to you by:

sisterhood connection healing transformation soul speak podcast

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Supna shared an AWESOME Soul Speak listeners exclusive! FREE SHIPPING with orders placed at WeGo Kids! Click here!

 

Topics discussed on the show:

 

 

emotional intelligence, wego kids, from me to we, soul speak podcast, parenting

“I’m not sure what my kids will face in their lifetime- now is a good time to teach them how to handle things beyond their control.” Supna Shah, Founder

 

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Fertility Massage Therapy, Rachel Eyre Season 1 Episode 10

Fertility Massage Therapy…What is it? How can it help you?

Rachel Eyre discusses harnessing the power of the menstrual cycle, fertility massage therapy, healing her PCOS, what are caster oil packs and discussing in depth about her Period-ology course. I am currently in the course and must say it is lovely and CHOCK FULL of wisdom that will blow your mind!

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This episode is brought to you by:

sisterhood connection healing transformation soul speak podcast

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Topics discussed on the show:

  • 2:30 What is the healthy womb
  • 4:50 Rachel’s symptoms
  • 6:40 Internal healing
  • 8:00 Fertility Massage Therapy & diaphragm stretching
  • 12:00 Why do Fertility Massage Therapy
  • 15:00 How often to book Fertility Massage Therapy
  • 17:00 Most profound result from Fertility Massage
  • 19:00 PMS and cycle awareness
  • 21:00 Lack of tolerance while on menstrual cycle
  • 23:00 PCOS healing
  • 26:00 Nourishing practices
  • 30:00 Periodology Course
  • 33:00 Menstrual cups
  • 37:00 Finding the “Goldie Locks” menstrual cup
  • 41:00 Caster Oil Packs
  • Podcast: Mythology
  • Book: Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup
  • Spirit animal: Penguin
  • Crystal: Rose Quartz
  • Isis Oracle by Alaina Fairchild

 

The healthy womb fertility massage therapy

“After a year of working on my womb, I came off the pill and for the first time in years, had a healthy bright red bleed, free of clots and other stuff.  I had no PMS and only very mild discomfort, I thought I had just slept funny.  It was a shock that I had started a period without a week of feeling miserable and in pain.   It then become my mission to ensure that other women don’t suffer as much as I did, being passed from pillar to post when infact there are so many things you can do to help yourself that don’t have other side effects.    Having healed myself naturally, coming off the pill and other medications, learning Fertility Massage as self care, studying and qualifying in nutrition myself and changing my lifestyle has transformed my health and my body.  And I can help you too.” – Rachel Eyre, The Healthy Womb

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Infertility Coaching, Pradeepa Narayanaswamy Season 1 Episode 9

Infertility coaching…Pradeepa Narayanaswamy discusses her 11 year struggle with infertility suffering through IUI, IVF and how that experience takes a toll on your emotions as an individual and a couple. It was through her struggles with infertility that she found her life’s purpose: coaching couples and individuals through the trenches of infertility. 

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This episode is brought to you by:

sisterhood connection healing transformation soul speak podcast

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Topics discussed on the show:

 

 

soul speak podcast gabrielle orcutt spirituality self love yoga birth infertility coaching

“I specialize in coaching people that are going through or have gone through fertility struggles. My fertility coaching program helps you understand and address the emotional aspects when it comes to infertility. I coach women, men and couples wanting to take control of their lives and keep the energy moving forward with infertility. The goal is to help you gain emotional clarity and move toward your goals quickly. If you often feel like everyday decisions are fogged by the emotional roller coaster of infertility, working with me can add clarity. I have walked a very long and painful road with infertility and can personally relate to your journey.” – Pradeepa Narayanaswamy

Connect with Pradeepa:


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