Self conscious

When do you remember feeling self conscious for the first time?

self conscious
7th grade; this period of my life was marked by needing glasses and that wasn’t the worst of it. My dad was living in Nashville, about 14 hours from me, and I wasn’t going to get to see him for a longer chunk of time than usual. I already had the countdown on my whiteboard made…so when he pulled out the driveway leaving me in a puddle of tears, I knew the long haul I was in for.

I spent all night crying with my heart crushed into a million pieces. I may have got 2 hours of sleep if I was lucky. Wet matted hair, red and puffy eyes…I don’t know why my mom sent me to school that day. HOT MESS EXPRESS, CHOO CHOO!! Allll aboard!! 😫🙈

I remember returning from lunch and the entire 7th grade was in the stairwell making our way back to class. One boy said something loud that made me laugh. I laughed a little too loud because he stopped on the stairs backing up the foot traffic, swirled on his foot and pointed directly at me: 👉🏻 “Youuuu…are UGLY!!!”

Shoulders slumped, bottom lip bit and quivering…I wanted to melt into the floor and vanish. I had always been a shy child who did not like being called on in class. If I got to know you I would crawl out of my hole where I was hiding and let myself shine. I hated this kid’s guts for the longest time, for humiliating me in front of the entire 7th grade. I honestly don’t even know if anyone noticed. I never asked anyone. Maybe if I pretend it never happened or shove it in the recesses of my mind…everyone else would forget too.

How many of us share a similar story?
Why is society so cruel?
What can you do to protect your own daughter?

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